The early bird on the campaign trail

By Bruce Watson

Published on March 30, 2007

The campaign! The campaign! Who isn't excited about the presidential campaign? And although it may seem a little early, why shouldn't we be screening the candidates? Yes, campaigns are getting longer but we can't afford to wait because 2012 is not that far away.

Of course, many Americans are excited about the 2008 campaign but I'm already bored with those candidates. For months now, we've been bombarded with images and sound bytes. Hillary at the podium. Obama pressing the flesh. McCain backtracking. Everyone posturing on Iraq. I already know far too much about each of them to vote for any of them. I say it's on to 2012 and just in time.

Time was when a presidential campaign began in the same year as the election. Yes, the 1960 campaign actually began in 1960! Imagine. Come the 1970s, presidential campaigns began the year before the election. Then for awhile, they started a good two years prior to Election Day, but all that was like, soooo 1996.

Here in the 21st century, the campaigning never stops. Never stops. Our Constitution states that we choose the president on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. There is nothing in the Constitution stating, "we, the people, shall choose the most powerful leader in the world through an embarrassing process mixing slander, innuendo and slogans, all costing more money than the combined GNP of South America, and lasting longer than a dozen NBA seasons." No, the Constitution says nothing about campaigns, so we don't have to hold them to any standard whatsoever.

So who am I backing for 2012? For some time now, I've had my eye on Dark Horse Governor from a Small Western State. He looks good because he once criticized the president and has silver hair. But then I saw a 2012 campaign ad for Soft-Talking Southern Senator. He's such a nice guy.

Then there's Outspoken Mayor from the Midwest. But he's a longshot because he's not a multi-millionaire yet. And I wouldn't be surprised if Noted Hollywood Celebrity With Big Hair throws his/her hat into the ring. Each of these seems like a serious challenger in 2012. For now, just put me down as Undecided. I'll probably make up my mind sometime in 2010, just before we start gearing up for 2016.

But what will be the issues of Campaign 2012? Years ago, it would have been too soon to tell but politics now resembles that old cliche about college. Politics doesn't teach us the answers anymore. It only teaches us the questions and so, the same old issues are timeless.

Taxes, abortion, health care, the Iraq War - these will be the key issues in 2012. They will also be the key issues in 2016 and 2020 and so on until my kids are old enough to get disgusted with the process and not vote anymore.

Of course, many things could happen between now and 2012 to change the political equation. Someone interesting could win in 2008. And that someone might accomplish enough to run as a strong incumbent. The new president might somehow avoid scandal, might end the war, might deftly defuse terrorism, might solve the health care crisis, address global warming, restore faith in government. All this might come to pass. But if politics teaches us anything, it teaches us to put hope on hold, and that's why I'm more excited than ever about Campaign 2012.

So staff the campaign committees. Get those babies lined up to be kissed. Start chopping up the sound bytes, raking in the contributions, probing opponents for personal peccadilloes and skeletons in the closet. 2012 is just around the corner. Let the campaign begin and may the smarmiest candidate win.