Going for the full Harry hype

By Bruce Watson

Published on August 17, 2007

EVERY author gazed with awe at the hoopla Harry got last month. Pre-publication parties. Jillions of panting readers lining up at bookstores. Worldwide media hype. And every envious author asked "Why not me?"

So, why not me? It just so happens (get ready for the shameless plug) that I have a book coming out this week. So why shouldn't my fascinating and ground-breaking history of the Sacco and Vanzetti case be given the full Harry Potter treatment?

Here's what I have in mind for Sacco and Vanzetti: The Men, The Murders, and The Judgment of Mankind. First, we'll have to change that title.

How about Sacco and Vanzetti and The Deathly Hallows?

Death does, in fact, haunt this sad story of two Italians executed in Massachusetts 80 years ago this month. And there are hallows. Hallows galore, in fact. (Note to self: look up hallows in dictionary - add more hallows to next book - deathly ones if possible.) Still, Sacco and Vanzetti and The Deathly Hallows seems, shall we say, derivative?

How about Sacco and Vanzetti and the Six Year Appeals Process? No, too dry. Perhaps Sacco and Vanzetti and the Grim Deathwatch. That ought to get the attention of jillions of panting readers who only shell out their money for sprawling 800-page fantasies about witchcraft and wizardry. Harry Potter. Harry Potter! I'm so sick of - Wait, I've got it! Sacco and Vanzetti and the Jolt of the Electric Chair.

Next, I want midnight release parties. Hundreds of them. I can sense the hype now. Jillions of kids in bookstores, desperate to get their hands on this first full-length narrative of the notorious case in 30 years. Some kids are wearing huge walrus mustaches, ala Vanzetti. Others are dressed as lawyers, cops, slain payroll guards.

Sure, you say. Dream on. History is the stuff of ho hum. We've all had history classes and we all barely survived. But why shouldn't a gripping narrative of the most dramatic case in American history have as much appeal as witchcraft? It has all the same ingredients. The struggle of good against evil? I got it. A blatantly biased judge? No problem. Elves and Death Eaters? Well. . . But hey, I didn't make up any of my story. It's all true, True, TRUE! And I have the footnotes to prove it. Where are J.K. Rowling's footnotes?

While they're waiting in line for my book, panting readers can enjoy Sacco and Vanzetti trivia contests. ("What were the names of Sacco's parents?" "How many bullets were found in one slain guard?") Then there will be the merchandising. Sacco and Vanzetti board games. Sacco and Vanzetti spaghetti. Sacco and Vanzetti action figures. Collect 'em both!

I'll have to do dozens of interviews, of course. Larry King. ("Yes, Larry, I did get the idea for Sacco and Vanzetti when I was a single mother.") Oprah. ("Thank you so much, Ms. Winfrey, for making my book your latest pick.") Good Morning, America. ("And what a morning it is, America, when we remember the worldwide protest against American injustice just 80 years ago today!")

So let the hype begin for Sacco and Vanzetti and the Jolt of the Electric Chair. (In a bookstore near you.)

Yet even if all of the above came to pass, it would be small compared to what really went on in August of 1927 when Sacco and Vanzetti, by then the most famous men in the world, went to the electric chair. Protests in every major capital city. Strikes shutting down whole countries. Rage and outrage. And it all happened! In their day, Sacco and Vanzetti were bigger than Harry Potter. So when it comes to pitching my book, Truth will just have make its own magic.